Bedtime Chess

7:42 p.m. and the high-pitched wail resounds from the gate at the door of the bedroom. Tonight. Every night. My strong-willed, bedtime-loathing munchkin fighting the inevitable for the fifty-somethingth night in a row. What do they say about insanity, again? Repeating the same action and expecting different results? But insanity means nothing to that beautiful, chubby-cheeked little toddler who will not let even one lock of her bright blonde hair touch that pillow. I stand like a statue in the kitchen, fist clutching the broom, contemplating my next move against the Grandmaster of bedtime. Check...

Exasperated, I close my eyes and think about my Heavenly Father, and the times I fight against his plan. When I too fail to consider that His Ways are higher than my ways. When I scream for His Attention, begging Him to change His plans for my next minute, day, year, life... How does He respond to my wails against His Will?

He doesn't open the gate, "Have it your way!"
He isn't apathetic. He doesn't allow me to have the last word. He doesn't enable me, or console me when I stray from His plan. He doesn't let me think, for even one second, that I am in control.

He doesn't storm down the hallway, "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times!"
He isn't quick to wrath. He doesn't stretch out His hand to put me in my place. He doesn't take revenge, and He doesn't make me feel guilt over my actions. Even though I deserve it.

No.

He stops what He is doing and pursues me down the hallway. Wipes away my tears and wraps His arms around me. Guides me back toward the place where I'm meant to rest my head at that moment, and softly but unmistakably sings all the while, "no one will, ever love you, like...I...do..."

So I leave the broom on the floor, take a deep breath and begin to walk towards her...

The voices in my head...and my heart

Sadie Robertson (yes, from Duck Dynasty!) posted this list on twitter a few weeks ago:

Why is it so important to develop the skill of discerning God's voice? Because we know things go awry when we listen to Satan's voice instead of God. In Jeremiah 7:23-24, the Lord commanded his people, saying "'Obey My voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be My people. And walk in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well with you.' Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but followed the counsels and the dictates of their evil hearts, and went backward and not forward." 

Sometimes I have so many thoughts running through my head that it's tough to just STOP and determine what is real, aka GOD, and what is a lie. Unfortunately, no one is exempt from Satan's distracting voice - even Jesus, who heard Satan in the desert. (Matthew 4:1-11) Still, we are commanded to "resist the devil," and in return promised that "he will flee from" us. (James 4:7) For me, this means closely examining the voices in my head:

The voice giving me anxiety about the future...

That isn't God.

The voice telling me I'm not good enough...

That isn't God.

The voice making judgments about the people around me...

That isn't God.

The voice in my heart reminding me that "all things work together for good" if I fix my eyes on HIM...

THAT, my friends, is God.

By the way... not only is this list a reminder to listen to God's voice, it is also a reminder to emulate his voice. "Therefore, be imitators of God as dear children." (Ephesians 5:1); "He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction." (Proverbs 13:3) As Christians, we should filter our words through the list above - regardless of who we are speaking to. We need to start asking ourselves:

* What is the purpose of my words?

* What will be the consequence of my words?

Who is speaking to you now? Whose voice are you emulating now?