Usually, when I'm going through an icky situation I feel hurt, sad, depressed, or annoyed.
OR, all of the above.
I'll sulk, cry, whine, cry, go back to bed, and cry.
Did I mention I cry a lot?!
Anyway, this weekend I found myself in one of these "icky situations" - nothing catastrophic happened, but definitely something that I was justifiably bothered by... and all of a sudden this strange emotion hit me...
For the first time in I don't know HOW long, my first reaction wasn't to cry.
It wasn't to snuggle up in a ball at the bottom of my closet...
...hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it.
I was calm for a second or two, and then I felt a strange sick feeling bubble up from my stomach all the way to my brain... and I yelled. And cursed, and yelled some more, and said a bunch of things that I don't even remember because I was just so...Angry!
The worst part about it is that this feeling hasn't gone away yet. Sure, it's quelled some from when I first felt that minor explosion, and I'm not completely clouded by it like I was those first few hours. I forget about it for a little while. Then I see/hear something that reminds me of it, and I feel that bubbling feeling starting again and UGH! There that pesky anger is again.
Well apparently, God doesn't like anger either.
No, really! He doesn't! Even if it's justified! Look:
Colossians 3:8-10
"8 But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, 10 and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him."
He couldn't be any more clear, could He?
...So basically, I was supposed to just endure this situation, one that I didn't cause, I was not to blame for, and I had no responsibility for... and NOT flip out?
Yup. Exactly.
That's a tough pill to swallow. Instead of my anger being "justified" like I thought maybe it was, I see now that I fought someone else's sin with a sin of my own. I had/have an opportunity to exemplify God's influence in my life, and I let it slip through my fingers.
Heavenly Father, please take away this anger that the I let Satan instill in me. Help me to get through these types of situations in a way that glorifies you. Use me through my conduct and self-control as an example to others, Lord, so that they may see You and Your ways in my reactions. Forgive me for letting this anger pulse through me for a few days, hours, minutes or even seconds too long. Help me to address the roots of the problem rather than letting that anger bubble up in my body, Lord. Thank you for guiding me through Your Word. Amen.
Anger has been a struggle of mine for .... years. Since I was a very little girl. It's an ugly little bugger - at least in the beginning.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I learned about anger fairly recently is how the body reacts to it. Basically, your body doesn't come down from that angry feeling for 4 hours. So if during that time I get angry again - I have to start all over! It's a cycle that seems to never end at times.
You're handling it well though. Turning to the Word and turning to Prayer. Keep it up!
This is a great post. I have a very hard time being angry! i think a lot of us do. thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHelene in Between
Love this post- very spiritual and touching. Something interesting that I heard lately is that women's natural reaction to anger is crying. It totally makes sense because I always cry when I'm in an argument- not because I"m sad but because I'm so dang angry! Thanks for leaving me something to think about. Just found your blog and have loved getting to know you better. Hope you don't mind if I follow along!
ReplyDeletenew follower :)
Bonnie
Bonnielouisa.blogspot.com